We started our adoption journey over 4 years ago. It has been a long, twisty, crazy road, but as I sit here writing this, looking at a picture of my son who will be home next year, I know why this journey has worked the way it has.
I remember starting down the road to parenthood via adoption and everyone telling me that I will know when I see my child. That I will understand why everything has worked the way it has and it would all make sense one day. You see, over 2 and a half years ago as we worked on our original adoption plan of adopting from Colombia we had a referral for a little girl. At that time the referral did not work for us and sadly we had to turn her down. I had a lot of guilt over the years because of this. I worried about this little girl and what happened to her. Not too long after we had to turn down her referral we walked away from the Colombia program. Again, this was another twist and another heartbreaking turn. As we walked away from Colombia, battered and bruised, I started to question if we would ever adopt. If we would be able to pick ourselves up and brush off; moving forward.
We took a solid 2 years off from adoption. We did not talk about it much, we did not research, we slowly started to pick up and brush off. We took time to grow as a couple and reevaluate. I am so thankful for this time. Even at the time as much as it broke my heart and I wondered sometimes if we would ever become parents, now looking back on it, these 2 years were the best thing we could have done and brought us to where we are now.
In early September of this year I was looking at one of the waiting children sites. I had started looking at a few sites on an off earlier this year as my DH & I started talking once more about possibly starting the adoption process back up next year. After everything with Colombia, we were really ify about going back to international adoption, but I figure there was no harm in looking from time to time. Occasionally I would see a child on one of these sites that was cute, but never a child that I felt so strongly about I had an urge to inquire on them....well, not until September 10th. I saw this little boy with a gleam in his eyes and his smile, well it melted my heart and at that moment I knew. Everything felt like it was falling into place. After speaking with my husband about him, we contacted the agency he was with. After looking at medical records, speaking with specialist, etc. we decided on the 20th of September to move forward with his adoption.
So here we are now, in the midst of another curve on our journey! We are adopting a little boy who is deaf from China. Did I think even 2 months ago I would be sitting here writing about my son? No way! I never thought we would adopt internationally and I really never even thought about a 'special needs' child. So it is funny how things work out. How through all the craziness everything happens for a reason, bringing you to where you were meant to be.
I am excited for what is in store for us. As I look at this sweet boy that is my son, he makes all the heartache, all the nutty stuff that happened all worth it. If I feel this way now, I cannot imagine what I will feel like once he is home with us.
Follow our journey at PCOSChick.com