Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Coming Soon!

Hello, everyone! We have taken a long-needed break and are working to get things back up and going. If you, or someone you know, is interested in blogging for Bloggers for Hope, please contact us at bloggersforhope@gmail with the following information:
1) Name
2) Current Blog (if applicable)
3) Infertility/Adoption background

We are looking forward to offering helpful information again, soon! Until then, feel free to look through the archives!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Resolve to Know More About How Infertility Can Change Your Life

When I was 17, I was put on birth control pills to help regulate very long and erratic cycles that I had been having since I was 13. As the years passed, I stayed on birth control not only to continue to regulate my cycles, but to also prevent any potential pregnancies from happening before I got married. Little did I know that I probably didn't need to stay on birth control to delay any family building until myself and my future husband were ready. We never thought that trying to have a baby could throw us into such a tailspin. We never knew how infertility could change our lives in so many ways.  
After getting married at the age of 24, we decided that I would stop birth control and throw caution to the wind. After a 15 month deployment, my husband and I decided to try our hand at getting pregnant. All we had to do was have sex and it would happen for us, right? One would think that's all we needed to do. That plan proved to be successful for so many friends while I sat back and waited impatiently for the deployment to end.
Unfortunately, things didn't happen quite like we had planned them to. My periods became more infrequent during that first year of trying to conceive. I expressed my concerns to my primary care doctor - many times bursting into tears while sitting on the exam table - and was ignored. I knew something wasn't right, but my insurance mandated that we had to try for one year before being referred to a specialist.
In the fall of 2008, we were finally referred to an OB/GYN after being unsuccessful for one long and painful year. Over the next five years, I was diagnosed with PCOS, hypothyroidism, and progesterone deficiency and we went through the infertility treatment gauntlet. We started with Clomid and worked our way up to injectible cycles, five IUI cycles, two IVF cycles, and finally three FET cycles. We experienced a huge range of emotions throughout our treatment journey - joy when we got pregnant the first time in February 2010, sadness and anger when we learned of our first miscarriage in March 2010, disappointment when cycles failed, fear and disappointment when we got pregnant and miscarried again in October 2010, frustration when each IUI, IVF, and FET cycle failed.
After our last remaining embryo from our second IVF cycle failed to implant after our third round of FET, my husband and I found ourselves at a crossroads. What should our next step be? Should we find another RE since we had moved yet again to a new location? Should we throw ourselves into another IVF cycle without a definitive reason why our embryos failed to implant? Should we give up on having a biological child and embark on the journey to adoption? After many emotional conversations, we decided that we wanted to turn to domestic infant adoption in hopes that we would finally become mommy and daddy to a special little girl or boy.
We started researching agencies in September 2013 and were accepted into an agency's program a few weeks later. We began the home study process in October and were home study approved by mid-January. Our profile became active on January 27 and on February 6, we were asked if we would like our profile shown to a birth mother. On February 8, our world changed in a big way. Our social worker called at 11:20 AM to let us know that we had been chosen by the birth mother and that we were going to be parents to a baby girl. A huge wave of emotions washed over us as we frantically packed to go pick up our daughter - excitement, disbelief, happiness, confusion, fear.
We drove about seven hours that day and arrived at our destination around 8:30 PM. Unfortunately, we arrived in town after visiting hours were over, so we had to wait until the next morning to meet our daughter. I vividly remember pacing back and forth in the hotel room and trying to picture what our daughter would look like, what our lives would be like, and what challenges lay ahead for us as a new family of three. We felt overwhelmed, scared, and unprepared to become parents so quickly. Most people had nine months to prepare for a new baby. Us? We had hours.
The moment we both held our daughter for the first time was a game changer. All those fears immediately vanished. We were both in love with this tiny miracle who was placed into our arms. We couldn't take our eyes off of her. We didn't want to put her down. We wanted to meet and thank the woman who chose to trust us with raising and loving her child, but unfortunately she didn't want the same thing - a decision that we respect and understand. We talked about how life was going to be - what we hoped and dreamed for this little baby.
That first night as I lay awake in the hospital bed, holding her close to my heart, I reflected on how infertility changed my life in so many ways. All the pain, loss, and disappointment led up to this amazing and life changing experience. I didn't realize that something amazing could come out of our inability to have biological children while we were in the midst of treatments, but here she was - something completely amazing. Because of our infertility, we now have the honor and privilege of raising a beautiful, smart, head strong little girl who brings so much joy and happiness to our lives. I never thought that I could love someone as much as I love her.
This blog post was inspired by RESOLVE's Bloggers Unite Challenge in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week that runs from April 20-26. This year's theme is to Resolve to Know More. Want to know more about infertility? Check out these articles about raising awareness, what to say and not to say to people who are experiencing infertility, and what has and hasn't changed for people with infertility.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Resolve To Know More

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week...a.k.a. NIAW.  Granted, infertility is something that is thought about every single day by those who have it.  However, I always think this is a great opportunity to help shine a light on the subject to those who otherwise would not go looking for information.  It's also a good time for the IF community to feel "together."  Team bonding and all of that.  

Each year, Resolve shares a theme for NIAW and this year it is "Resolve to know More."  What a great theme!  Wait, resolve to know more?  You may be asking, "know more of what exactly?"  Perhaps you've come to this blog looking for resources.  Maybe you're a friend or family member of someone that has infertility and you are wondering what is going on with them.  OR you might even be one of my friends that saw me post a link to this saying "go read my post!"  If that's the case, I say HI! THANK YOU! KEEP READING! :)

I wanted this to be a post that shares for both sides of the coin...those who need support and those who just don't have knowledge on what having infertility really means.  Let's start with the latter, shall we?  Oh wait, you already know some things, right?  Like:
  • Don't tell someone to "just relax" or "just adopt" if they're trying to conceive.  This does not help them relax (and I can guarantee they've been there, done that).  Nor does it help those who adopt since it is neither a "just" decision or second-rate.  
  • 1 in 8 are diagnosed with infertility.  How many friends do you have?  How many people do you know?  Even if they don't openly discuss it, they're out there.  And they are hurting.  I can assure you that fact as well.
  • There are more treatments available other than IVF (and many people do not need/do IVF).
  • Treatments can cost up to $20,000+ and adoption can cost up to $40,000 (and most insurance companies do not offer coverage)
  • Holidays are HARD.  This includes, but is not limited to, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Mothers/Father Day, Halloween.  I know you know this, but just try to be a little sensitive to those without children on these days.  They don't expect special treatment.  Just a little understanding.
  • Infertility is 1/3 female, 1/3 male and 1/3 unexplained.  
  • Secondary infertility exists.  And it HURTS.  Offering consolation about them having other children already does not help.  It only adds to the pain.
There is so much more to know about infertility.  So.Much.More.  Even those of us who are IF-veterans can always learn more.  After haven gone through treatments (note: not IVF), mult. miscarriages, and 2 real-live babies, I would like to say a few things to both sides...

To those who have never experienced infertility (this means actively trying to conceive for a year, not a few months of not being able to figure out your cycle-which is an intricate thing, btw)...Be kind to people.  If you know they struggle with infertility or not, just be kind.  You don't have to fix their problems or give them answers that you don't have.  As with any other person that has a disease (yes, it IS a disease), they could use an "I'm sorry," "that sucks," or a moment of just being heard.  If you've come to this post, you've already done more than many others in their life.  Thank you for that.

To those who are in the throws of IF...Be kind to yourself.  There are options out there.  There are resources and support systems for you.  It's difficult, if not impossible, to see the end as positive when you are in the throws of it all.  It took me a while to see it, but infertility is NOT who we/you are!  It does not have you.  You are MORE than this.  You are loved.  You are not broken or unworthy.  When you need to cry, cry.  When you need to sleep a day away (not everyday, mind you), sleep it away.  Then?  Get back out there.  Breathe some fresh air.  Turn up the music and find something that you love.  You may have times when that something is difficult to find.  But it's out there, I promise.  

Resources for those battling infertility:

As this week continues, and many IF'ers are out there helping to spread awareness, I would say that we should all resolved to know more.  Do more.  Be more.  Why?  Well, plain and simple.  I resolve to know more about myself and who I am.  Infertility will always be in my thoughts.  I see its effects in random daily things.  But I am not infertility.  Neither are you.

We ARE more.  So very much MORE.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

GIFT, ZIFT and ICSI: What’s the difference?

If you’re like me, you’re wondering what the heck these acronyms mean. All three are forms of assisted reproduction technology. At a (very) high level, here is what GIFT, ZIFT and ICSI mean.

GIFT, ZIFT and ICSI all involve egg and sperm collection in the same manner that is done for IVF, but after that, the process differs.

GIFT (Gamete Intrafallopian Transfer)
During GIFT, an incision is made in the abdomen and the collected eggs and sperm are placed in the fallopian tubes using a laparoscope. The hope is that fertilization occurs inside the body naturally, as opposed to fertilizing the egg outside the body before insertion.

ZIFT (Zygote Intrafallopian Transfer)
ZIFT is when the fertilized eggs (called zygotes) are placed in the fallopian tubes rather than the uterus. ZIFT is also done by a laparoscope, but the eggs are retrieved and fertilized on one day and the embryo is transferred the following day.

According to WebMD, In vitro fertilization accounts for at least 98% of all assisted reproductive technology procedures performed in the U.S., while GIFT and ZIFT make up less than 2%. GIFT and ZIFT are not recommended in cases where the woman has damage to her fallopian tubes.

ICSI (Intra-cytoplasmic Sperm Injection)
During ICSI a single sperm is injected directly into an egg to fertilize it. After a few days in the lab, any fertilized eggs are transferred to the woman’s uterus. ICSI is often recommended when the man has low sperm count, poor sperm motility or abnormally shaped sperm.

For more information, talk to your doctor or view additional resources at:

Have you done GIFT, ZIFT or ICSI? We’d love to hear from you in the comments! What resources can you share with our readers? What was your experience like?

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Endometriosis Awareness Month

Endometriosis 101

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month! Despite the fact that it affects 1 out of every 10 women, it takes an average of ten years for a woman to get diagnosed. Most people, including some medical professionals, will give an endometriosis patient a blank stare when they mention their disease.  The lack of awareness regarding this disease is appalling. The mistreatment of women on their journey to get properly diagnosed may be considered criminal or at the very least medically negligent. So in the spirit of the March, let’s talk about the basics of this disease.


ENDOMETRIOSIS is when tissue, very similar to the lining of the uterus, escapes the uterus and starts wreaking havoc in a women’s pelvic cavity as well as surrounding areas causing scar tissue, adhesions and painful lesions. How the disease originates is still disputed, but this tissue, that is reactive to a women’s hormones, can be present on the outside of the uterus, the ovaries, the bladder, the ureters, the rectum, the colon, and can go as far up as the diaphragm and the lungs and as far down as the sciatic nerves. There are also cases of endometriosis found in very odd places like the brain, but we won’t go there for now. 

How do I know if I have it?

Have you ever had to schedule events around your period because you were in so much pain? Do you have severe constipation or diarrhea around your period? Does it hurt to poop? Do you regularly feel like someone is stabbing you in your pelvis or back during any time in your cycle?  Do you need to have a bottle of wine before you have sex with your partner because the pain is so bad? Do you pee a lot or get frequent UTI’s? Do you have pain in your leg or hip that can be correlated to your cycle? Do you have unexplained infertility and pregnancy loss?  Do you have other weird immunological symptoms that are unexplained?  Have you seen 8 million doctors and yet have no explanation of why you feel the way you do? Have you been told you just have a low pain tolerance or that the pain is just in your mind? If you have answered yes to ANY of these questions, you may just have endometriosis.

Now what?

Here is the tricky part, getting a medically professional to believe that any or all of these symptoms are related and could be endometriosis.  Many doctors cannot see the “whole picture” of endometriosis. You need to find an endometriosis excision specialist. Excision surgeon is really the best way to get relief from the disease. 

How do you know if your doctor is right? 

You need to ask them the following questions: Do you use solely the excision method to remove endometriosis? If I have endometriosis symptoms that imply I may have it on my surrounding organs, like my bowels, bladder or diaphragm, will you work with other expert surgeons, during my operation, to remove the endometriosis? Can you make preserving my fertility a priority? If your surgeon answers “NO” to any of these questions, find another surgeon who will say yes to all.

But I can’t afford an excision surgeon right now, what can I do to help my disease in the mean time?

Not many excisions surgeons take health insurance. It is horrible. But they are worth every penny because you will feel so much better and have such a better quality of life. But in the meantime, eating gluten free and dairy free and all organic foods and going to see a chiropractor and acupuncturist could help lessen the inflammatory symptoms a little bit. Hormonal therapy and intervention help some women, but only for a short amount of time. Women who want to get pregnant, cannot get pregnant while on these drugs, and delaying conceiving to take these drugs could negatively impact a women’s fertility. Also, some women have bad side effects from this type of therapy and they need to research it thoroughly before agreeing to go on it.

Get involved.

Endometriosis is a very isolating disease. No one gets it. People think patients are just big whiners and can’t handle their “period pain.” I have heard these same people cry when they have gum boils on their lip. Well imagine 1 million gum boils all over your pelvis. That only begins to describe what endometriosis patients go through. If you are an endometriosis patient, connect with other patients on line in facebook groups like “endometropolis.” Come find me on twitter, @Chancesour, and I will introduce you to the amazing online community. Get involved with the non-profit, Endo Warriors, and see if they have a support group in your area or through their website buddy up with someone who lives near you and is also suffering with endometriosis to get community support. 

The Endometriosis Foundation of America has started the ENPOWR Program and is reaching out to teenagers in the school setting to teach them about the disease to hopefully promote early diagnosis. There is the first ever Million Women March for Endometriosis in Washington D.C. THIS WEEK to spread awareness about the disease. This initiatives bring me great hope.

In ten years, my ultimate hope is no one will say, “Endometri-what?” when a patient tells them about their disease. They will instead respond, “That is awful. I am so sorry you have that disease. Let me know how I can help you.”  March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. Consider yourself more aware.
Check out my endometriosis awareness video here:

Casey is a licensed social worker with many years of experience in the non-profit sector as a counselor, advocate and community organizer. Casey also has been a presence in the infertility community as a writer and activist, using her own struggle with endometriosis and recurrent pregnancy loss to help others. To learn more about her story and her work go to : www.CaseyBerna.com

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Alternative Treatments for Infertility

There are many "traditional" paths to infertility treatments.  There are also alternative treatments.

Here are a few to consider.

Acupuncture:  Acupuncture is treatment that uses strategic placement of needles to stimulate energy points in the body.  It is becoming more and more common for RE's to recommend acupuncture with treatments.  My clinic highly recommends it and it is common for their patients to use acupuncture in addition to their treatments.

With each cycle we did, I saw an acupuncturist.  My acupuncturist (who I still see even though we are no longer pursuing treatments) has a specific regimen she uses with her infertility patients.  She bases it on the type of procedure being done.  When I had my procedure I went before and after.

Herbal Remedies:  Many times when you are doing acupuncture, your acupuncturist may recommend Chinese herbs in addition to acupuncture treatments.  The belief is that the herbs can provide a natural remedy in addition to the chemical medication.  The decision to include herbs should be discussed with your doctor.

Aromatherapy:  such as essential oils of rose maroc or rose otto may be prescribed.

Environmental Medicine:  certain chemicals (from pesticides to hair sprays), molds, stress, infections -- almost anything in the environment -- may trigger infertility. Treatment involves removing these substances or lessening exposure to them.

Nutritional Therapy: supplements and special diets can be effective with treating infertility.  A gluten free diet may be suggested by your doctor, or a low carb diet if you suffer from PCOS.

Mind/Body Medicine:  emotional counseling and meditative therapies can play a major role in treatment.  My RE clinic worked with an infertility therapist and suggested all couples have at least one session before pursuing treatment.

These are just a few options to consider in addition to traditional treatments.

Have you pursued an alternative treatment?  If so, share it with us!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Infertility: Not Always a Woman's Issue

Before diving into the world of infertility back in 2007, I assumed that most reasons for infertility would be attributed to women. After doing research, I learned that about 30% of infertility is actually linked to male factor problems. According to the RESOLVE website, some male factor problems include: "structural abnormalities, sperm production disorders, ejaculatory disturbances, and immunologic disorders" (RESOLVE, 2014).

Identifying Male Factor Problems

Just like their female counterparts, males are first expected to discuss their medical history with a physician when infertility is suspected (typically one year after starting the trying to conceive process). Using this medical history, physicians can determine whether past medical problems or sexual history, such as STDs or ejaculatory issues, are contributing to the couple's infertility issues. In addition to discussing medical history, a physical exam is typically completed and blood is drawn to test FSH levels, testosterone levels, and prolactin.  Finally, a semen analysis is completed. This analyzes sperm count, motility, velocity, morphology, volume, and liquefaction. Results from the male infertility work up are used to determine whether or not there is a male factor issue linked to the couple's infertility.

Emotions Involved with Male Factor Infertility 

Males who are dealing with MFI may experience a wide range of emotions. Some males may not feel as sensitive about their infertility in comparison to women who are experiencing infertility. According to RESOLVE, "Our culture shields men from developing expectations of their role as a parent. This may account for many men's seeming detachment when they discover that childlessness may be in their future" (RESOLVE, 2014).

Males may also feel angry and discouraged by their infertility diagnosis; however, they may chose to hide their feelings and not share how they feel with their spouses/partners. An infertility diagnosis can make males feel like "less of a man", just as an infertility diagnosis can make a woman feel like "less of woman". No one starts the journey to starting a family thinking that their body may be standing in the way of achieving their dream of bringing children into the world. Just like females, males may feel isolated. They may not know of anyone else who is dealing with MFI. In many cases, males will not reach out for the support of others like many females do.

Ways to Cope With a MFI Diagnosis 

  • Do your research and talk to your doctor - learn more about your diagnosis and determine possible treatment options.
  • Express how you feel - keeping all your emotions bottled up isn't always a good thing. Talk to your spouse/partner or a close friend about your diagnosis. You don't have to go through this alone. 
  • Find support - RESOLVE offers support groups in many cities across the United States. There are also great resources and supporters in online forums such as Twitter and the blogosphere. Again - you are not alone in this. 
Treatment Options When Dealing With MFI

There are a variety of treatment options available to couples who are dealing with MFI (depending on the severity and circumstances surrounding the MFI). These treatment options include: Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), Percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration (PESA), or testicular sperm extraction (TESE). For more information on treatment options, couples should contact their physician. 


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