This is my favorite part of the song.
Something I've been working on lately is accentuating the positive. It's a challenge when it's so easy to dwell on the negative. And the in-between stuff really messes with the mind, doesn't it?
When my husband and I decided to stop pursuing infertility treatments and move to the path of adoption I decided to begin seeing an infertility therapist. I'm so grateful that there is a therapist in my area that specializes in infertility and adoption.
My biggest issue these days is working on positive thinking. MM (what I call my therapist online) believes that if you think positive thoughts, then positive things will come to you. Are you a believer in that theory?
I have a Pandora bracelet. I started it when we started our infertility treatments again two years ago. Every bead and charm on there has a meaning to me. Some of them relate to our infertility journey and some of them relate to trips or things we have done during that time.
Recently I rearranged it and realized I had enough space for two additional charms. A friend asked me what charms I was going to get to complete it.
I stopped to think and told her that if we adopt then I would buy a charm at that time. When I repeated that to MM she reminded me that I said "if."
Those two little letters change the tone of that sentence doesn't it. What if I had said "when we adopt" instead of "if we adopt." That changes that it completely.
Later I stopped to think about how many times I say "if" or "not until" or "not yet." I realized I say those phrases a lot.
So now I'm focusing on saying "when" and keeping a positive perspective. That is a challenge, isn't it?
But it's hard to do when you're battling infertility. When you're deep in the trenches and battling to start your family it's hard to stay positive.
How do YOU stay positive? How do you focus on being positive instead of falling into the trap of negativity?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
A great post that is a wonderful reminder to stay positive! While travelling with my friend to have her tattoo finished, I got the tattoo artist to tattoo the word "Believe" on the inside of my left wrist. Now every time I feel down or low, I look at that word and it gives me strength and helps me stay positive. When we finally have our child (and you are right, saying when instead of if changes the entire feelings behind it), the word will be a reminder of all that we went through to get to this point, that it was all worth it. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the sentiment of thinking positive will lead to positive results. It is totally normal to feel down, and no-one can be positive all of the time, and I think some people do it better than others. My own take is to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. I could totally get absorbed by my own misfortune with infertility, but I have countless things to be grateful for - it always helps me to remind myself of all the good things in my life.
ReplyDeleteWhile waiting for Andrew it was easy to get down with the whole adoption process. I mean, after battling infertility and miscarriage shouldn't we have been due for a break? I had lots of time for stalking blogs of people who had adopted, and I recorded "Adoption Stories" daily. The one big idea that I came away with was that each family was basically surprised by the timing of their adoption story. Pretty soon I began to approach each day by reminding myself that "today is the day it could all change". I had faith that everything was in God's hands. I knew I had done everything I possibly could have, and that it was now just a matter of waiting. Each day I reminded myself that "today could be the day", and after some time, that day did come. The rest is history.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder. When it comes to IF I think now more before I speak. I remind myself to use "when" instead of "if" as much as possible. Just by using "when" really puts a positive spin and gives a little hope.
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