I Don't Want to Write This Post!

Hi infertility campers! It's Uncle Ike, and its time for our occasional visit together.

How have you been?  Good?  Bad? Angry? Sad? Depressed?  Well, that comes with the territory.

Now it is time to chat with some brutal honesty.  How are you dealing with your infertility.

Now, ladies, I know that you have no problem expressing yourselves.  Trust me, the twitter interactions I have with some of you, assures me that you communicate quite well.  Sometimes though we need to let the guys have a chance to get a word in edgewise.

Based on most of the experiences I have had while we have been trying to have children,is that we (guys) tend to hold back on our negative, angry, emotions that come with our predicament.  We try to be positive.  We work toward our goals to have a child/another child, and we make progress. But the acid burns in our souls.  And we hold it in.

I have to admit that sharing, even with close friends or with my wife, is tough.  Once you get a scab over the wound, or it let it heal, and then have to reopen it to let some of the poison out, and you relive things you put behind you,  you give up on your hope that is impossible to have.  The years that you will never get back.

Guys, we are horrible at sharing.  But we need to work to find a way to let it out.  Don't hold back from your partner, let her know how you feel.

Ladies, make sure that you give your guy a chance to talk.  And make sure that you find a healthy outlet for yourself, and work to share with each other first.

Find good outlets for expressing your feelings outside your relationship also.  Sometimes guys should talk to guys and, well the ladies know how to do this, mostly.

A RESOLVE support group is a good place to find an outlet to talk, or you might need counseling from a spiritual or other professional resource on a more personal basis if the burden is too much.  Make sure that it is healthy and lets both partners move toward resolution and health.

(My daughter to be, her boyfriend to be, and me dressed like the horse)

I'll confess that I was watching the movie "Tangled" while typing this post.  And it hurt.

My daughter won't magically appear to her parents like Rapunzel did at the end of the movie. 

My little Rapunzel, golden haired daughter would have been beautiful.  With glowing golden hair (and then brunette).  She would have a beautiful voice, and would be a strong heroine.

Unlike the movie, I am not the king, and no one is rescuing my daughter to bring her back to us. 

The high school and college aged children of our friends are reminders of the fact we would have children these ages if we had not experienced infertility.

It is okay that I hurt because we are childless.  Otherwise I would not be alive and have a strong desire to keep pursuing this dream.

One day, some day, some how, my little girl and/or boy will watch Tangled together.  I will cry.  And when they ask, I will tell them it's because I watched that movie before they were in our lives and knew that someday we would watch the movie together.