Taking Advantage of Now

Once upon a time, there was a girl who graduated from college and married her high school sweetheart who was the man of her dreams. She started a career in television news and was very excited about her future. She had everything planned out…she’d climb the career ladder, sometime in their late 20’s, they’d have their two kids and house with a picket fence, and everything would be hunky dory. But alas, as life is want to do, all her plans started going off the rails.

First, she was laid off from her dream job, and could not find a new one, so she started working retail and admin jobs. Thinking she would certainly become a mother soon, she saw no need to fret too much about a career at this point. Then the girl and her husband started trying to have a baby…and trying and trying. During this time, she started a job that was a gateway to a career in her major. It also offered free tuition to the University. “Hmmm…” she thought, “I wonder if this is the time to get my Master’s Degree! But surely I’ll get pregnant soon, so I guess I won’t”.

As the years of trying ticked by, there were more things that the girl put off because she thought that they certainly would be pregnant. Fun vacations, road trips, and even investments into her favorite hobbies. “If I get pregnant soon, I won’t have time for this craft, so why spend the money?” she would say to herself frequently.

Three years later, they ended up at the RE’s office with an “genetic incompatibility” diagnosis. At this point, the girl was so fed up and disgusted with herself for putting her dreams and goals on the back burner only to watch the opportunities pass her by while she wished for something that would not happen.

She deeply regretted putting her own self-interests aside and deferring her career in hopes of getting pregnant, because in the end, the grand plan didn’t work out. The day after their appointment with the RE, she went out and bought a spinning wheel and fiber. And she enjoyed the heck out of her new hobby.

And a few years later, the girl and her husband did become parents though domestic adoption. By this point, she had grown her career and was happy. And she did stop spinning for a while because she was busy with a baby, but she never regretted the decision to start.

And now that the baby is almost two, she’s spinning again, happy as a clam.

the author enjoying the heck out of spinning, 
saying, "screw you infertility!"

In case you haven’t figured it out, this is my little story about how I put my life on hold because I thought I would get pregnant soon.

For over four years, I neglected myself. I could have had my Master’s degree by now. I could have invested more in my career and be in a higher level than I currently am. And I could have traveled the world…because that’s certainly not happening now with a toddler! If there is any regret I have in my life, this is the one.

I just wanted to let all of you know who are fighting the battle with infertility to take advantage of now. I know it’s harder said than done, but once you have children (and I do believe you will!!!), many of the things that you could have accomplished before kids becomes a lot hard with them, so take advantage of the time you have now!

Go back to school! Go to a multi-day music festival! Sleep in until 10am on the weekends! But most importantly, do not put off the things that you are passionate about. You could get pregnant tomorrow, or adopt in 6 years.

Unfortunately, you do not have a crystal ball to predict these things, but I can guarantee you that even if you end up pregnant next week and need to un-enroll from your school, or have made plans for Coachella next year and have to cancel them, you will not regret taking advantage of the moment and pursuing the things that make you happy.

Long story short, live your lives…don’t let infertility live it for you.