For Better or for Worse

Male factor infertility is often an overlooked part of infertility.  Most of the time it is assumed that when a couple is having difficulty conceiving, it is automatically the woman's fault.  According to Resolve, 35% of all infertility issues are related to male factor infertility.

When men are forced to face their infertility it is difficult.  Men are automatically put in the stereotypical role that their masculinity is directly related to their fertility.  When a man must undergo fertility tests it's difficult emotionally for them. 

Bloggers for Hope is fortunate to have Ike as our male factor blogger.  It's hard for men to talk about their feelings in general, but to talk about their fertility, or lack of it, is a real challenge.

I wanted to share a few causes of male factor infertility.

• Obstructions
• Sperm production disorders
• Endocrine issues
• Antisperm antibodies
• Azoospermia, complete lack of sperm
• Low sperm count
• Varicocele

There are various treatments for male factor infertility.  Most times an RE will recommend couples do an IUI and in some cases they will recommend IVF with ICSI.

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So much of a man's self esteem and sometimes self worth, is wrapped up in their fertility.  When they receive the diagnosis that they have an infertility problem, it can be just as devastating for them as it is for us girls.  Often it can actually be more devastating.

Women handle things differently.  We talk to each other openly, we have girls nights, we blog and/or tweet, and we have a community of other women we can talk to.



When we get married and say "for better or for worse" we often focus on the better and not the worse.  But when a couple decides they want to have children and face infertility....the worse creeps up quickly.

This is something my husband and I have dealt with in our own relationship.

I wanted to share some ways to be supportive of your husband/significant other when HE receives that infertility diagnosis.

• Listen to him when he's ready to talk.  Don't pressure him to talk.  Most men are reluctant to open up to their feelings.  The last thing they want is us pushing them to talk when they aren't ready.  Be sure he knows you're there for him when he is ready to talk.
• Try to encourage him in other ways to show him he's important.  Fix him his favorite meal.  Plan a night for his favorite movie or sports event.
• It's common for men dealing with infertility to say we are better off without them.  his can cause stress in other parts of your relationship.  I have reminded my husband several times that I didn't marry him for his sperm count.  It may sound like a silly answer, but the best thing you can do is listen.

Infertility is cruel.  It effects people differently.  People cope with stress and infertility differently.  Remember the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?  Well it applies with stress and infertility too.

If you are looking for ways to cope with infertility, Resolve has some excellent resources on their web site.

Just remember that sometimes things are better and sometimes they are worse.  The important thing is to be there for each other.

{PS:  Don't forget that our twitter party is tonight at 7 CST/8 EST.  Be sure to follow us on twitter at Chance to Hope and follow our hash tag #B4HCHAT to join along!}