Back in, the year seemed a distant lifetime away, and my nine-year-old self had high hopes for what life would be like. 10 years on, I have to admit that my year-old self is extremely disappointed. I’m not angry, just disappointed. For example, where are all the flying cars? And I don’t mean Chitty Chitty Bang Bang style, I mean super slick hovercraft style. It would solve so many traffic issues. Actually, quite frankly I think the question we need to ask is why everything doesn’t hover!? And we should ALL have jet packs, not just Agent Cody Banks. Defying gravity is awesome (and yes, that sentence also relates to the song of the same name from the musical, Wicked.) What better way would there be of asserting the power of mankind?
In the past couple of decades, our parents experienced the explosion of the internet, which I’ll admit was a big deal. But has anything equally impressive really been invented since? I don’t think so. This isn’t really fair on our generation, is it? Sure, we have MP3 players, smartphones and tablets, and that’s all dandy. But it seems to me like inventor geeks have become complacent. Consumers of the world, we need to demand more!
There are a lot of annoying things in life that I’m sure could be easily solved if techno-nerds stopped Facebook-stalking and got down to the nitty gritty. For example: losing your keys is one of the most irritating occurrences, and happens to a lot of people, a lot of the time. (So articulately expressed by the BGT candidate in his hit, “Where ma keys? Where ma phone?”) Anyone who’s been in a hall of residence will know what I’m talking about here – most of us have experienced sitting outside in your PJs waiting for the next hour to strike when you can go and ask a grumpy senior resident to let you in… All because you were too hasty in your dash to the loo. If you ask me, the solution here is an obvious one – finger print scanning to open doors. Simples. Except I’m not sure what would happen if you needed to let someone else get in every now and again. But by 2012 the geeks should’ve come up with an answer. It’s not rocket science.
Another thing: have scientists really not fixed global warming? Because this threat has been going on quite long enough in my opinion. If climate change and the running out of the earth’s natural resources blah blah blah really is as pressing as eco-companies say, why the bajeezus hasn’t someone done something about it by now?! It’s a bit of a joke really. Maybe it’s because scientists always knew the world was going to end this year anyway. That would also explain why the inventor nerds have just been chilling on facebook instead of cracking on in the battle against gravity. I don’t think I’m asking too much here – I understand that travelling around via portkey Harry Potter style may not be something we’re going to see in the near future. But if we’re not getting close to teleportation by , mark my words, I shall be writing a very strongly-worded email. Or hopefully sending a hologram of myself ranting my disappointment. Here’s hoping doesn’t let me down just like has.